Mr. Aging Asshole

In the first couple of days on the website, my inbox was inundated with emails and winks and “they’re interested” notifications. I was overwhelmed to say the least. I was logged on to the site to clear out some of the emails when I received an IM from Mr. Aging Asshole, age 36. I didn’t really feel like talking to him, but I did anyways. He was sort of funny, I guess. He made a few grammatical errors during the conversation, which is a huge pet peeve of mine. At the urging of my roommates and friends, I decided to go out with him anyway. Let me just say that I was not thrilled to meet Mr. Aging Asshole.

Prior to the date, which was set for a Tuesday evening after 9 (when he got out of work), I met my friend from school for dinner. Dinner became drinks and by the time Mr. Aging Asshole showed up, I was 3 vodka tonics deep. Sooooo, I was slightly intoxicated. The drinking continued when he arrived. He went on and on about complete and total bullshit…how he had managed a band, how his sister was a ballerina, blah blah blah. I could not force myself to pay attention. He had this cocky air about him that I couldn’t stand…just so self-important. He clearly thought he was pretty awesome. He also spoke as if he was much younger; he would say things like “people our age,” even though he was born more than a decade before I was. Long story short, he was a douche.

I woke up the next morning naked in his condo in Germantown with no recollection of how I got there. Way to go, Ms. Scary. I literally have no memory of leaving the last place we were. And I had a test in an hour. And I was still kinda drunk. We got dressed and he drove me back into the city, and again I zoned out while he blah blah’ed about how fucking awesome he is the whole hour-long ride in. It was painful.

I left my sunglasses in his car, but I decided to cut my losses. He wants to move past what we did (I am still unsure of the details, but can imagine) on our first date because he apparently really likes me. His last text just said “Please just let me take you out to dinner…I don’t expect anything from u.” I cannot subject myself to Mr. Aging Asshole again. Next!