I went over to Mr. Cocky’s place to watch the last episode of True Blood that he DVR’ed. We immediately began making out, but somehow made it through the entire episode. Then, he did something that really got me goin…he ordered a pizza after I said I was hungry. The way to Ms. Scary’s heart is directly through her stomach, let me tell ya. We ate pizza and drank wine and talked and laughed.
Then, we got back to the business of making out…this quickly moved to the bedroom. We promised each other that we would not have sex. This promise was not kept. To say that the sex was good would not do it justice. I was convinced that sex could never be as good as it was with Mr. Never-Gonna-Happen and this session proved me wrong. Mr. Cocky also happens to be a lot stronger than Mr. Never-Gonna-Happen is, which added to the experience; essentially, he tossed me around wherever he felt necessary. I had 5 orgasms. I may marry this man.
But still…my thoughts go to Mr. Never-Gonna-Happen. The way he would stare into my eyes, how he smelled, everything about him and about us together. When is this gonna go away? Mr. Cocky is great and so is the sex, but the connection is just not the same. I know I will never spend 7 hours on the phone with Mr. Cocky. I miss those conversations with Mr. Never-Gonna-Happen. I miss the way he would tell me stories so I could fall asleep. I miss text messages all day long. I miss him asking me why I wasn’t next to him right that minute. I miss the way I felt the first time he said, “Is it ok that I miss you?” Can’t write anymore…can’t see through the tears. This is the first time I have cried over a man in ages. Fuck.
